Monday, May 21, 2012

When life hits rock bottom....

Life has been a little rough for me

Diamond was getting stressed with the three foster kittens growing up
She vomitted 10 times within 3 days
Since Diamond is an older cat
I was really stressed out thinking of all the possible ailments she can get
I had no choice but to transfer my kittens to another foster last week
My room feels really empty without them
I turn around and see all these places in my room where they would play and completely pass out
But I don't see them there
I feel really sorry that I couldn't keep them longer and spend more time with them
They were such well behaved kittens
The new foster is very dedicated and has two adult kitties who can play with the kittens
So at least the kittens will have a better life
The new foster is keeping the names I gave them:  Isadora, Sophie and Madeleine

My mom and my grandma both developed some medical issues recently that I can't disclose here
I don't know how to react to it
Maybe it's because I kind of saw it coming
It's hard being the only child in the family
Most of the time, I have to be strong, brave and stoic
But sometimes, the burden is too heavy
I just want to crumble and hide in a corner

My dormmate decided she has had enough with me
Started sending me really rude and offensive email blaming me for not being considerate
Blaming the kittens for giving her sinus infection, for making her grades drop
Even though the kittens are in my room 24/7 and I had never asked her for help
I'm not a mean person in nature
And I hate those times when I'm forced to stand up for myself
I don't even know how to be mean and how to defend for myself....

On the upside
I finally transferred my leadership position in the kitten rescue group to my successors
I feel so accomplished contributing to this organization and saved more than 350 kittens in this school year alone

I'm also fortunate enough to receive three very generous scholarships recognizing my academic performance and contribution to clubs and non-profit organizations

Whenever I felt lost and lonely in the past,
I always tell myself
When life gets hard and it feels like the whole world is against you
Just keep your head up high
The end of the tunnel may be dark and may be no where in sight
Just keep on looking straight ahead, and don't look back
Don't let anyone tell you what you can't do
Just keep walking and follow your dreams
Soon enough
You'll seen the light shining through

Look at things that make you happy
Be with people that make you feel lucky
Laugh with the world and let the world laugh back at you
Because it's a lot easier to get through tough times if you keep that smile on your face

This is Sophie, isn't she adorable?

Diamond and I (and always much more photogenic than I)

Sorry... Didn't mean to rant and didn't intend to turn this post this didactical..... 
Just having a very bad Monday right now, and just needed to tell myself some reassuring..... 

I hope you guys had a much better day than I did!


  1. sounds like you are really going through a rough time...but cheer up, it can't get worse right ;) Diamond likes like a real princess ^^ and Sophie's adorable! I love cats...I'd love to have one someday~

  2. Thank you, really appreciate your encouraging words. Diamonds acts like a little princess too. haha...

  3. feel better jessie! youre a strong girl and you can do it

  4. Your kitties are so adorable!
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  5. Hello Jessie, how are you today ? I hope you have accomplished what you wanted... You deserve to be happy. Cheers, from Paris