Thursday, December 31, 2009

It's that time of the year again!!!!

Year of 2009 was a phenomenal and life-changing year for me
I've met a lot of amazing ppl and made some good friends
I'm in vet school and feel that I fit in completely!!!
And most important of all, I'm slowly recovering and building my confidence
I finally feel like I finally found myself
What a long journey that was.....

But now it's time for new year resolutions!!!

1. Use my Nikon D80 more often.
I rarely took it out with me and I've been neglecting it since school started. My wrists would ache everytime I take it out since it's so heavy for me..... Even though I'm still very unfamiliar with all the functions and features, I'm already eyeing on another lens as my birthday gift. So I have to force myself to use it more often, as I have waited 3-4 years to get a dslr. I don't want to lose the ability to discover beauty in everyday life.

2. Be more independent.
To be honest, I'm already quite proud of myself for taking care of myself and Diamond. During the four months I was away from home, I only got sick once and got over it in 3-4 days. I cooked on my own most of the time. I actually find doing laundry and vacuuming the floor to be quite amusing. But I must grow even stronger mentally. I find myself reaching for my mom whenever I run into problems. If I just calm down and think harder, most problems would just resolve on their own. My mom gets so concerned whenever I tell her things like "I think I have a huge lymph node on my neck, what's wrong with me???" or "My roommate just did blah blah, she drives me crazy!!!" Sometimes telling her stuff like that only doubles and quadruples the anxiety. So I will try to suck it up and learn how to handle difficult situations on my own. But of course, I know whenever I need a pair of ears, my mom will always be there.

3. Find myself a form of workout and stick to it.
I heard that our school gym is really nice, and I wanted to check out the gym even before school started. It's been 4 months, and I have not been there once. They also offer many many kinds of dance lessons (locking, hip-hop, jazz, waltz, rumba, etc) The classes are not that expensive either.... but I'm just too afraid that I won't have enough time to study. Our neighborhood is quite and has such a refreshing and relaxing scenary (perfect for a walk). But I have never seen the other end of the road. Even when I wanted to take pictures of the beautiful sunset, I shoot through my windows... =____= So whatever it may be, I really need to get rid of the belly fat.... I'm so out of shape....

4. Improve studying efficiency and studying style.
As our workload gets heavier and heavier, I have no choice but to absorb and digest more materials in class. So I don't have to be like a ruminant and chew on it later on. Also, it's not college anymore.... (just manage to cram the night before and get a decent grade.) There's such a large amount of material that I need to be able to retain the knowledge. I need to integrate old material with new ones and infer more information from what is presented. I still have a looong looong way to go. But at least by taking neat notes and making an effort to really OWN the knowledge, 4th year rotation will come around much sooner and easier, or so I hope. And of course, by being more efficient, hopefully I could volunteer more and be exposed to more hands on experiences during school. And maybe update my youtube channel and blog a little bit more frequently?......

5. Network and make more friends (maybe more guys friends?).
It's a sad reality. Once you are in the real world, a lot of things depend on connections. It's not about just making a friend, but it's more about how many more connections this particular friend can bring. I have yet to master the art of disguising networking as friendsmaking. To me, it's all black and white. I like your personality, let's be friends!; I don't really like you, let's be "friends...".

I was also contemplating about my blank lovelife..... and trying to work out the equations reversely.... I do want children some point in my life, and I'm 10000% that I want healthy ones..... So I should at least get married before 30 and have some healthy and intelligent babies.. So that means I have to find some one either during vet school or immediately after I graduate. Meanwhile, there are literally no available guys in vet school, and vet school is too busy for me to go out and meet guys at random hangouts. So that leaves one option, online dating... but there are so many perverts online nowadays..... And of course, even if you do find that Mr. Right, it's 89834849380 times harder to finally hear him propose to you.

It's a tug of war between the desire to have a normal paced and happy life and the fear of meeting the wrong guy and suffering the extra stress that follows the wrong decision. Do guys understand the kind of stress that women go through???? We shall fight on!!!

Anyways.... forget about all the rambling. What are your new year resolutions? Wishing everyone a joyful and prosperous 2010!!!